AUDIO ONLY

Today I’d like to speak about a very important issue in the life of the local church. I want to answer the question, “Can someone who has been divorced and, perhaps, remarried serve as a deacon or elder in the local church?”. I’m specifically dealing with this today because:

1. Marriage is a vitally important, God-ordained reality that has profound, far-reaching impact.
2. It’s a very important question/issue that affects churches today. There is much at stake in it.
3. The Elders have been talking about lately and I, personally, have had a change of mind around this issue so it’s important that you know.
4. On December 5^th we are going to have a legal meeting that has a connection to this issue.

So, let me start by saying this – first and foremost, we want to be faithful to Scripture in how we think and what we do. Marriage is sacred, divorce is a destructive action that lives within the context of sin, and serving as an appointed leader in the fellowship of believers must not be taken lightly.

We know that:

• God’s design for marriage is that it is a life-long bond between one man and one woman until death.
• God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16)
• Marriage is unique among all relationships in that it is set apart by God to be a living example of the relationship between his Jesus and his people (Eph. 5:21-33). As a result, divorce damages the understanding of how God cares his people.
• Marriage, divorce and remarriage involves the mingling of solemn oaths and sacred physical union unlike any other relationship.
• Divorce involves sin that is violent and destructive in many ways. The hurtful impact of a broken marriage on the spouses and the children and the web of relationships surrounding the marriage is immense.

So, when the marriage union is broken there is always sin, there is always damage and dysfunction that ripples through lives and society, and there is destruction to the construct that – in the Old Testament (Ezek 16:8) and in the New (Eph 5:32) – is used as the earthly picture of the relationship between God and his people.

I do want to make sure that this morning we understand the primary issue I’m addressing here. This is not actually about marriage, divorce or remarriage. This is about serving as an Elder or Deacon. If someone has been divorced does that permanently remove them from being eligible to serve in leadership? – That’s the question. Does that permanently remove them from the possibility of serving in leadership?

When issues are this serious it is also very easy to simply adopt a view that is based on cultural expectations (church culture or secular culture) and not necessarily on Scripture.

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Those who oppose any divorced man serving as an elder almost universally do so on the basis of the apostle Paul’s language in 1 Timothy 3:2 (Titus 1:6-8 also).

1 Timothy 3:2–6 – Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. (ESV)

The Greek literal translation of “the husband of one wife” here is “a one-woman man,” or “a one-wife husband”.

Most agree that – at a minimum – this means that a married man’s affections should be focused ONLY on his wife. For two thousand years, however, honorable Christians have disagreed on the precise meaning of this phrase as it relates to someone who has been divorced. Does “one-woman man” mean that any divorce in any context results in permanent exclusion from serving as an elder?

First – the qualifications are present-tense

The qualifications as listed in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 are present-tense qualifications. The main evaluation of a man’s life must take place in the present, not in the past. This, however, DOES NOT mean that a man’s past actions have no bearing on his present life. The important question is, “Who are you today? Have you – by the grace of God – become a person who is qualified to serve as a deacon or elder.

Second – A call to seriousness

The present-tense qualifications DO NOT overlook the divorce but, rather, demand that we – as much as possible – know the man’s present situation. Being “above reproach” certainly extends to how the divorced man is conducting himself in all of life – not just when with church members. As it relates to his divorce, we must be diligent in understanding:

• The context and specifics of the divorce
• The man’s acknowledgment, confession, and biblical repentance of his sin – if any – in the divorce. If this is lacking the man is not qualified.
• The man’s faithfulness and godly character in the care of the children – if any – from the previous marriage. If this is lacking the man is not qualified.
• The man’s current disposition in the lives of those affected by the divorce. If his disposition is not filled with the character of Christ the man is not qualified.
• The man’s current understanding of marriage and divorce must align with the biblical position. If this is lacking the man is not qualified.

Third – there are no second-class people

There are no second-class people in the Kingdom of God and divorce – as horrendous as it is – is not the unforgivable sin. We are all sinful, sinful people saved by God’s kindness alone through Jesus’ death alone. We long to hang on to the past in ways that don’t honor God. The death of Jesus is powerful enough to cover any sin.

Most would say that – at least in theory – a murderer, a prostitute, an adulterer, an alcoholic, and others with a destructive history – when captured by God – can be transformed into those who could lead in the church. Murder, for example, is prohibited in the Old Testament and the New (Ex 20:13; Deut 5:17; Matt 19:18; Rom 13:9). Murder not only rails against the authority that only belongs to God, it destroys a life that was made IN HIS IMAGE:

“Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image.” (Gen 9:6)

Surly someone who commits murder can never serve as a leader in the church – right? Paul was one who had persecuted and overseen the killing of who knows how many Christians. Certainly in God’s eyes Paul was a murderer saved by grace.

So, while we must be careful to diligently qualify all who would serve as an elder, our view is that divorce does not automatically, permanently remove one from serving as an Elder or Deacon.

We would be quick to emphatically point out, however, that divorce is never the ideal – even in an adulterous situation. We must work to, restore, heal, and keep marriages together whenever possible.

So, can a person who has been divorced and remarried be a qualified leader in the local church? It is possible. A general principle is this: Does this man enjoy the complete and full affirmation of the leaders and people of his own congregation, and is he presently living out the qualifications listed in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1? If a particular local church scrutinizes his life and ministry and sees nothing in his present character or past conduct that currently brings a reproach, he may, in God’s good providence, serve as an elder.